Ten Days of Holiday Movies: Day Ten

What? Huh? Oh, I made it, this is day ten. I guess this means I can spend tomorrow watching these movies... or getting things ready for family.

Yeah, probably getting things ready for family.

So here it is, last chronologically, but not least in my heart. The most recent holiday movie on my list is:

Karroll's Christmas (2004)

You've probably never even heard of this movie, but it's a made-for-cable film that is based on the well-worn Dickens' classic, “A Christmas Carol”. As with most comic takes on this particular story, things get twisted up a bit in this telling. Think “Blackadder's Christmas Carol”, but not nearly so bleak.

Allen Karroll (Tom Everett Scott) is a nice guy, if a bit of a loser. After planning the perfect, and very public, way to propose to his girlfriend and getting shot down, very publicly, he's not feeling that great about the holidays anymore. As if the heartbreak is not enough, there's the matter of his grouchy old jerk of a neighbor, Zeb Rosecog (Wallace Shawn) to just make things all that much worse. Still, as down on the season as he is, he's still no Scrooge... or is he?

On Christmas Eve Allen is visited by the Christmas ghosts (Larry Miller, Alanna Ubach, and Verne Troyer) who quickly realize that there was a bit of a clerical error, and they are in the wrong house; they are meant to be visiting Zeb next door. Still, orders and orders, and the ghosts are not going to leave without showing Allen the error of Zeb's ways.

The movie is a bit syrupy at times, but it still has a sharp sense of humour, and is quite entertaining for a movie I just happened to stumble across in the middle of the night while channel surfing (if you're wondering why I bothered to stop, it's because of Wallace Shawn). I don't know if the fact that it makes my top ten is indicative of it being good, my being sleep deprived each time I've seen it, or if I just had that much trouble thinking of ten holiday movies that I actually like.

I wanted to post up some sort of trailer or advert for this, but I just cannot find one. I have found sites where you can stream or download the movie, but I'm not linking to those. If you want to find them you can use Google just as easily as I can.

So there you have it, ten days of holiday films for those of us who don't like are films sweet enough to make our teeth hurt. There's still a couple of days to go, so it's not too late to go and pick up a few of these while you relax in relief at the end of the season. It's almost over, folks, another Christmas come and gone... at least until June when all the merchandise hits the shelves again.

Happy Winter, everyone!

Ten Days of Holiday Movies: Day Nine

Did you know that Toys R Us is open twenty-fours hours this week? I kind of want to go at three in morning just to do it. I don't have anything I need there, but it seems like it would be fun. Of course this is completely off topic, so lets get back to the reason I'm writing this, eh?

Here we are on the ninth day of my favourite holiday movies; the penultimate day, if you will. We're going back to the world of animated features again, but not for kids (although not spectacularly adult either), and we're crossing the ocean to the shores of Japan for this second to last choice:

Tokyo Godfathers (2003)

I love the late Satoshi Kon's work, like “Paranoia Agent” and “Perfect Blue”, and evidence of how much I like his work based on its own merits is that I loved the movie the first time I saw it without even knowing that it is one of his. Most of Kon's movies tends to be very adult, but this is a much softer film than works like “Paprika” without losing any of the art style or humour.

On Christmas Eve three homeless people, an alcoholic, Gin, a transvestite, Hana, and a teenage runaway, Miyuki, find a very unusual item while scavenging through the trash; a baby. Hana first views this as the answer to her Christmas wish to have a child despite the obvious reasons he could not actually be a mother. Soon the trio realize that they cannot care for this child, whom they dub Kiyoko (pure child), and they set off in an attempt to find out who Kiyoko belongs to using clues found in the bag that the baby was in.

The quest to track down Kiyoko's parents finds the homeless protagonists caught in the middle of an attempted mafia hit, a kidnapping, a car chase, and even a death-defying leap from the roof of a building, all the while being guided and protected by God (or just Deus Ex Machina, if you prefer). As well as finding the truth about who the infant belongs to, the trio may also discover the truth about themselves and the decisions that they made that led them to where they are now.

Even though I am not ranking the films on my list, this may well be my favourite one. It's funny, exciting, and a little sad at times. The only bad thing about it is that I've never been able to find an English dub of it (there is, supposedly, a dubbed version done for Animax, but that dub is not on the DVD). I'm not one of those “dubs suck” kind of people, I usually prefer dubbed films over subtitled ones because I rarely devote my full attention to any one thing, but even if I was a dub-hater, the problem with this not being available with an English voice track means that a lot of people who might really enjoy it will never give it a chance. This is especially sad because Kon's work is fantastic, and this is probably the film that would be accessible to the type of people who would find “Paprika” or “Paranoia Agent” incomprehensible.

Ten Days of Holiday Movies: Day Eight

We're closing in on the day now, have you got your shopping finished yet? Yeah, me neither.

So if you thought that yesterday's movie pick was a little dark, wait until you see my favourite holiday movie for today. We're jumping into the 21st century with:

Bad Santa (2003)

Probably the least family-friendly item on the list, this film is exactly what it says on the tin. Willie (Billy Bob Thornton) is a foul-mouthed, ill-tempered, alcoholic criminal, who is everything a Santa should not be; he curses, he has violent outbursts, and he has sex with pretty much anything that will let him. Naturally he gets a job as a mall Santa, but this is all part of a bigger plan. With the help of his elf sidekick, Marcus (Tony Cox), they plan to rob the mall blind and take all that Christmas shopping cash for themselves.

Of course things don't go quite as planned. Not only does Willie find himself more and more at odds with Marcus as to how the heist should go, but he accidentally finds himself actually caring about someone other than himself. After meeting a loser of a kid named Thurman Merman (Brett Kelly), and falling for a bartender, Sue (Lauren Graham), he starts to rethink his life choices a little bit.

Aside from just being a really fun, if very dark and adult, film, it is worth noting that this movie is John Ritter's final live action film appearance (if he seems like an odd choice for the film, remember that he and Thornton previously appeared together in “Sling Blade”). If you want to laugh, and then feel a little bad about it, put the kids to bed, Irish up some coffee, and pop this film into the DVD player.

Ten Days of Holiday Movies: Day Seven

As I stated when I started this, I'm not a huge fan of the winter holiday season, and this list very nearly ended up being my nine favourite holiday movies because I simply could not think of a tenth movie, but then I remembered this little gem. You probably not only missed this movie when it was in theaters, I did too, but have probably never even heard of it. I only originally saw it thanks to it showing up on cable when there was nothing else on, but I'm glad I found it, or else this list would be ending a day early. I'm dreaming of a darkly humourous Christmas with:

Mixed Nuts (1994)

Phillip (Steve Martin) is having a bad Christmas Eve. His girlfriend is dumping him, his business, a suicide-prevention hotline, is about to be evicted so that the office may be converted into a condo, one of his workers is trapped in an elevator, there's a very pregnant woman locked in the office bathroom, a serial killer on the loose, and to top it all off, no one even seems to need to be talked out of committing suicide. What else can go wrong? How about Liev Schreiber in a dress?

This is another movie with a pretty impressive cast. Aside form Schreiber and Martin, the movie also features Madeline Kahn, Garry Shandling, Juliette Lewis, Robert Klein, and Adam Sandler (he is playing the mentally deficient ukulele player he played on SNL, but it's a relatively small role, so don't hold it against the film too much). A rather obscure and unsuccessful film, it is still a fun holiday movie, especially for those of us who don't live in snowy areas, and get nothing out of those frosty winter scenes.

Ten Days of Holiday Movies: Day Six

For day six we're going back to the creepy, but we're also going animated with a movie that has become something of a cultural phenomenon over the years (at least it is if you regularly shop at Hot Topic). This film is probably the most merchandised of all of the films on my list with toys, video games, board games, clothes, accessories, perfume, and even a theme park ride based on it. Check under your bed, and then check out:

The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)

It's a Christmas movie! No, it's a Halloween movie! No, it's two, two, two holiday films in one! When the inhabitants of Halloween Town discover the doorway to Christmas Town they find it impressive. Really impressive. So fantastically impressive that they decide to steal it. They kidnap Santa, and decide to run the holiday themselves.

Of course the ghoulish inhabitants of Halloween Town completely miss the point of Christmas (that would be secular Christmas, I'm sure the film would never have been made has it addressed the religious aspects of the holiday), and end up put their own hideous spin on it. Things go horrifically wrong when Jack Skellington decides to play Santa himself, and he realizes that maybe he's just not cut out for this whole Christmas thing, but can he free Santa an put things right again?

A great film for people who find “Gremlins” to be a bit too extreme for the young ones, but still like a little horror with the holly jolly. The stop-motion animation is fantastic, and the character designs are creepily beautiful. Throw on some really memorable songs and great voice acting and you have yourself a holiday(s) classic.

Ten Days of Holiday Movies: Day Five

Day five! We're halfway through my list, which also means that this is the last weekend before the big day, and that shopping deadline is barreling down on you like a fright train... unless you did most of you shopping back in the fall. Once your done with your shopping you should pour yourself some eggnog and sit down to watch a holiday film that will make you realize how much easier your holidays are.

We're sticking with laughs for day five as we move chronologically through my list. I remember seeing this film when it first came out in theaters (alone, I should mention, as the family members who brought me went and saw something else). So, without anymore generic prattle: on the fifth day of holiday movies, Munashii gives to theeeeeeee:

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989)

Clark and Ellen Griswold (Chevy Chase, Bevery D'Angelo) are back with a new set of kids for a new vacation. Traveling has not worked out so well for them in the past, so this time they are staying home and letting the adventure come to them in the form of Christmas with the family. It's too bad for Clark that Finagle's Law is in full effect, as everything that can possibly go wrong will, spectacularly, and at the worst possible time.

Clark W Griswold is one of the world's great optimists; he does not let anything get him down, and takes every new problem on with a smile and a laugh. He is a man that turns even the sourest of life's lemons into lemonade; very, very tart lemonade. Sure, Cousin Eddie (Randy Quaid) may be pumping raw sewage into the storm drain in front of his house, and maybe the Christmas lights aren't working right, and maybe his Christmas bonus has been replaced by a subscription to the Jelly of the Month Club, but that is not going to stop him from having the hap-hap-happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny f***ing Kaye!

Ten Days of Holiday Movies: Day Four

My next pick came out the same year as “Die Hard”, but is a little more traditionally considered a holiday film. Lets step away from horror and action and back to mostly straight comedy with:

Scrooged (1988)

Charles Dickens' classic is brought into the 1980's with Bill Murray cast in the Scrooge role as Frank Cross, a cold-hearted jerk of a television executive who has been tasked with putting on a live broadcast of “A Christmas Carol” on Christmas Eve night, but soon finds himself being visited by the ghosts featured in the classic tale.

“Scrooged” is probably the most star-studded (depending on how you want to define that term) of the films on my list, featuring appearances by Bobcat Goldthwait, John Forsythe, David Johansen, Carol Kane, Karen Allen, Buddy Hackett, Jamie Farr, Robert Goulet, John Houseman, and even Olympic medalist Mary Lou Retton. So come on, put a little love in your heart with this holiday treat..